wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize