My first STD was from a foam party
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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