I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
