so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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