worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
