i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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