My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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