thus making me awesome and them whores
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
