Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
