You really coming over, don't trick.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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