Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
