420 ftw
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
