it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize