so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
