they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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