Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
