I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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