Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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