I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
