Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
