yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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