that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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