The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize