i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
