I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
