having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
