Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
