respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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