Whod you bang
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
