I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize