The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
