just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
