I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
