dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
