Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
