Your tits are I can't wait for
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I will be naked everywhere
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
