I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
