So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
