Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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