even my farts smell like vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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