oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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