after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
