somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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