worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
