ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think my vagina is haunted
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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