omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
