So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
