There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
