I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
