With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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