Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
