sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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