I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
