Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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