Whod you bang
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
