We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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