If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
