i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
