I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
