dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
