remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
