Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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